By Kristen Chase.
Last week, a friend of mine shared a post with me about the downsides of homeschooling. Unlike many that I’ve read that have been written by educators or folks who have never homeschooled, this piece was actually written by a homeschooler.
Honestly, I appreciated the critical analysis because I believe that if we’re going to be effective in teaching our own children, we need to be able to examine our own processes with a critical eye rather than through rose-colored glasses.
What spoke to me most was the issue of bias.
Now I think that most of us are already aware of our own biases toward our children, but it’s especially pertinent for those of us who are also our kids’ teachers. Or, school teachers to be specific, since we’re life teachers as well.
So after reading through the post a few times, I had to ask myself this question, which I’m posing to you today:
Is parental bias helping or hurting our homeschooled children?
Now bias can play out various ways in a homeschool setting. Like when you nudge your child along a bit more than perhaps you should, rather than sit back and let him or her figure it out. As loving parents, we want them to be successful. But it can be hard to know when to step in and when to let them struggle, something perhaps that a more neutral classroom teacher might not experience.
And so in helping them, are we giving them more preferential treatment than they would get in a regular classroom setting?
I also see bias when it comes to a child’s ability, a pervasive issue particularly with the millenials, where everyone has been told they’re special so much so that they’re really not special anymore. And worse, they think that they’re so smart, brilliant, and well, special, that they don’t actually think they have to work to get anything.
My friend and colleague Liz Gumbinner tackled this topic related to parenting (and not specifically to education) as inspired by the teacher’s controversial commencement speech. The comments are fascinating. And surprising.
So many parents were very upset by what the teacher said. But isn’t there a difference between “special” and “special to you?”
I’ve heard homeschool parents tell me time and time again that their kids are advanced or gifted. That they’re much smarter than kids their age.
And maybe they are.
I’ve said it about my own daughter too.
But how do they really know? It could be that the parents haven’t seen enough other kids to get an accurate picture. And just because they’re talented in art or science or sports doesn’t mean they’re smarter than everyone else. Or even gifted.
And that’s perfectly okay.
Let me be clear: I don’t really think that bias is a bad thing. In fact, I liken this question to the old Quantitative versus Qualitative research argument I endured throughout graduate school. The Quantitative researchers would tell me how important it was to completely remove myself from research and the Qualitative researchers would remind me that removing myself was impossible. We’re human, after all, and not only can we not ever be 100% removed from anything we do, why would we want to? The power of human experience is as important as the statistically sound data.
I think there’s a place for both types of research. And both schools of thought.
I suppose the same could be applied to education, and in this case, homeschooling. If we can’t avoid the bias, we can at least acknowledge, embrace it, and then tackle it when we think it might be getting in the way.
Hey, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?
Perhaps the first step for homeschooling parents is to accept that we will have bias when it comes to our own children. And then, we can use that awareness to help us make the right decisions for our children. Just because we have bias doesn’t mean we can be fantastic educators for our children. It just means we might need to be a bit more on our toes, which is something I’m pretty sure most homeschool parents are anyway.
Kristen Chase is a mom of 4, writer, and co-publisher of Cool Mom Picks and Cool Mom Tech, a popular shopping and trendspotting blog for moms, as well as 4 Kids or More, an online resource for the modern larger family. She’s a 2nd generation homeschooler, having been taught middle and high school by her own mother back when people were still using quills and ink wells, and is now a very well-adjusted and socialized homeschool mom herself.